A Virginal Experience

Well, I’m not a virgin any more. An earthquake virgin that is (thank you Lynne). I have been initiated at last. It all happened on a quiet Thursday morning. I was drying my hair and had a book-on-iPod going….. which means I couldn’t hear a thing except the book.  And I felt a slight tremble in the floor and a loud-ish boom. I assumed it was loud because I could hear it OVER the  book-on-iPod. It sounded an felt like a big truck had just driven past the house. I say that because when Copp Motors hot rod drivers roared past my elderly Maine house in their semi-tractor-trailer tow truck, it sounded and felt just like that. So I didn’t think anything about it. And then the cell phone started vibrating…… Mark – “Are you all right?” Me – “Yeeeaaahhhh…….. why?” Mark – “Well, we just had an earthquake and I thought you might be freaking out”. FREAKING OUT???? EARTHQUAKE????? Me – “REALLY?? And I thought it was just a truck going by. Nothing is moving or shaking here. Is that all it is? Piece of cake!” Mark – “Well, we are on the third floor and everything shook here.” Hmmm….. And then another call came in. Julie (from Quilting group) – “Did you feel it?” Me – “Well, not really.” Julie – “No (sounding a bit disappointed)? At least you have had your first one! (sounding happy as if I had had my first date)” And then I called Meredythe-in-Maine all excited to tell her I had been initiated. Me – “I think we just had an earthquake!” Meredythe – “Really? Let me check……. Yes, and it was 4.1 in magnitude” Me – “How did you find out so fast?” Meredythe – “It’s on this website….” So I went to the site – earthquake.usgs.gov. The US Geological Service posts all earthquake activity from around the world. And there was my own personal first earthquake listed. How exciting. And all sorts of information about it…. Like it was 6 MILES below the surface and in Milpitas (about 8 miles away). I was also able to get additional information about earthquakes. Like this one was pretty common and no big deal. I guess there are LOTS of quakes between 2 and 5, some between 5 and 5.9 and only a few above 6. Which is a good thing as with each 1 degree increase in magnitude, the amount of energy released is 10 times more.  And, best of all, there is a link to “Did You Feel It?” which of course I had to go to and complete the questionnaire so that I could be part of the Total earthquake experience. The questionnaire asks you things like what type of building were you in, did any major appliances move, any furniture move or get damaged, trees/powerlines, buildings collapse….. the usual thing.  This time I had to say no. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not hoping for a Big One. But it could happen. So I also checked out the section on the site about being prepared. And I printed out the list of stuff we should have on hand. AND I told Mark that TODAY we would start collecting things to put in a safe place. Because, now that I am no longer a virgin I must be prepared.

A New Trick for an Old Dog

I wanted to thank all of you who have left comments about the blogs. I just figured out they were there and how to read them! Oh well...... And, Boz.... I'll check out the Red Cross site for earthquake info. Thanks.

Biker Gangs in NoCal

Mark hangs out with biker gangs. They wear similar outfits, have a lingo unique to their group, special vehicles..... all the symptoms. The latest gang he rode with was the Wobbly Wheelers. This particular gang rides 30 miles every Wednesday. Now, you may be picturing burly leather-covered hairy guys on souped up Harleys rumbling around the countryside. But this gang is in spandex pedaling around San Jose. And the median age is 75. So, now that I've modified your perception, let me add that this group of retired gentlemen has taught Mark alot. Each week, they post a thought to discuss while riding. Good, good..... an intellectual bent to the adventure. Mark shared some of these thoughts:
      1. Absence makes the heart go wander
      2. The trouble with speaking one's mind is that it limits conversation
and my favorite....
      3. The worst thing about growing old is having to listen to a lot of advise from one’s children
I asked Mark if they ACTUALLY discussed these topics. He said no, not really. They mostly talk about Medicare benefits. Oh..... And then he added, "And our route". You see, these gentlemen frequently get lost. The leader has a plastic holder - the kind you would use in the kitchen to protect a recipe book while cooking - mounted to his handlebars. He places a map of the route in this holder so he can consult it frequently. AND he has a GPS unit to assist. In fact, TWO of the members have GPS units to consult. And they STILL get lost. I asked if the GPS units were a requirement imposed by their wives. No, Mark replied. The wives required that each guy carry a cellphone. Oh, that seems logical. But, Mark added, the cellphones are never used. One of the riders bought a prepaid cell phone with $100 worth of minutes on it  good for one year. At the end of the year, any minutes not used were lost. He had $70 worth of minutes left that he lost. So the cell phones are rarely used to assist these gentlemen in getting back on track. But, Mark said, not to worry. These guys have ALL DAY to get back home. The joys of retirement. But Mark IS learning valuable life lessons from these guys who seem to be really enjoying the extra time they now have. And that's not the only valuable life lesson they are teaching Mark. When you are heading toward your senior years, you are approaching unchartered territory. It's a little like raising children - there is no book of directions. And as one elderly person told me - old age is not for wimps. So getting help from experienced elders who seem to be doing it right is always a good idea. And because I am a teacher at heart, I pass these pearls of wisdom on to you......

Rules of old age

1. Never stand when you can sit

2. Never sit when you can lie down

3. Never pass a bathroom without taking advantage of it

4. Be wary of farts

5. Never waste a hard-on, even if you are alone
What more can I say?

I Pinned Your Ear!

Celebrating the New Year in NoCal is a bit different than celebrating it in Maine. First of all, there is no snow here. This means that you can go outside in a sweater and enjoy the day. And at night, you can stand outside for a long time trying to get a great picture of the Blue Moon without a coat and not freezing to death in a VERY deep snow bank. So that is a nice change. But in NoCal, I spent New Year's Eve trying to become a Californian. I am about to confess my illegal actions, so any law enforcement people reading this...... well... be kind. I have lived in CA for about 2.5 months now and have not obtained a California driver's license and have not registered my car. I really like my SQR PEG plates and hear that vanity plates in CA are VERY expensive. So, I decided to FINALLY do the the deed on New Year's Eve. Why then, you might ask. Well, Natalie (stepdaughter) needed a CA driver's license so I said I would get mine too. We arrived at the DMV at 2:11pm. I know this because I was given a ticket with a number on it and the time stamped too. We knew we would have to wait, so we were prepared with books and iPods and other forms of entertainment..... like people watching. And we had studied so we were ready. Did you know that the legal limit for drinking is .08% and that you cannot talk on a cell phone while driving unless you have a hands free set? I DID! When my number was called, I took my stack of papers to the nice lady and she asked me some questions.... hair color (Good question!), eye color (easier) and weight......I figured since I was all ready breaking the law by NOT registering my car within the required time of arrival in the state AND I did not have a CA driver's license within 10 days of moving here, I could tell another small lie about the weight....Well, maybe not too small. After all, it HAS been a tough fall and we DID just celebrate the holidays. The Nice Lady never batted an eyelash and just finished my paperwork. I gave her money - of course - and she sent me to take the test. I got in ANOTHER line for the test, got my form (#5) and proceeded to complete it...... good thing I studied. The alcohol level was on there. I got BACK in line to have my test corrected. I could miss 6 and still pass. I thought that if I had missed 6, I didn't deserve a license. Now, I have to tell you.... Mark took the test in September (HE didn't break the law!) and he got 100%. I was hoping to do as well. AND Natalie took the test and only missed one. So the pressure was on. He scanned the form..... correct.....correct.....oops. Missed one. MISSED ONE? Let me see..... it was a question about a blind person with a white stick who is trying to cross the street in a cross walk. They stick their stick into the cross walk and then pull it back to the sidewalk. Do you stop to let them cross or continue? I chose to stop. I figured that if they were confused or had stick issues, better to be safe than sorry. But the CORRECT answer is to continue because they took their stick OUT of the cross walk. I stood there as the Nice Man finished grading my paper and envisioned hundreds of blind people with white sticks playing games with traffic - stick in..... stick out.....stick in....stick out HA HA! So when I took my stack of papers BACK to the Nice Lady and waited while she finished with the person she was helping, I was in a bit of a cynical mood. She took my papers and asked if I thought the test was hard. I said no not really. But I DID miss one. At least, I reassured her, I didn't pick the option of driving UP ONTO THE CURB and HITTING THE GUY WITH THE STICK. I'm not sure she thought it was as funny as I did. I still had to register my car which I cannot do until I have a smog test which means going to a gas station and having something stuck up my exhaust pipe and a measurement taken. It sounds uncomfortable. And anyway, it had now been 2.5 hours since we arrived to start this whole mess. It was time to go home. I will receive my license in the mail. Probably delivered by a blind mailman with a white stick.
You may have wondered why I titled this blog the way I did. Well, there is a short story behind it. I only hear in my left ear. And Mark sleeps on my right side. So when he whispers sweet nothings or anything else for that matter, I don't always hear what he is saying. And on New Year's Day, Mark whispered tenderly, "I pinned your ear". I looked at him and said, "YOU DID WHAT?" He smiled and said (now in my GOOD ear) "Happy New Year". So whether you are pinning an ear or just happy, I send warm wishes for short lines and lots of smiles for your year.