Biker Gangs in NoCal

Mark hangs out with biker gangs. They wear similar outfits, have a lingo unique to their group, special vehicles..... all the symptoms. The latest gang he rode with was the Wobbly Wheelers. This particular gang rides 30 miles every Wednesday. Now, you may be picturing burly leather-covered hairy guys on souped up Harleys rumbling around the countryside. But this gang is in spandex pedaling around San Jose. And the median age is 75. So, now that I've modified your perception, let me add that this group of retired gentlemen has taught Mark alot. Each week, they post a thought to discuss while riding. Good, good..... an intellectual bent to the adventure. Mark shared some of these thoughts:
      1. Absence makes the heart go wander
      2. The trouble with speaking one's mind is that it limits conversation
and my favorite....
      3. The worst thing about growing old is having to listen to a lot of advise from one’s children
I asked Mark if they ACTUALLY discussed these topics. He said no, not really. They mostly talk about Medicare benefits. Oh..... And then he added, "And our route". You see, these gentlemen frequently get lost. The leader has a plastic holder - the kind you would use in the kitchen to protect a recipe book while cooking - mounted to his handlebars. He places a map of the route in this holder so he can consult it frequently. AND he has a GPS unit to assist. In fact, TWO of the members have GPS units to consult. And they STILL get lost. I asked if the GPS units were a requirement imposed by their wives. No, Mark replied. The wives required that each guy carry a cellphone. Oh, that seems logical. But, Mark added, the cellphones are never used. One of the riders bought a prepaid cell phone with $100 worth of minutes on it  good for one year. At the end of the year, any minutes not used were lost. He had $70 worth of minutes left that he lost. So the cell phones are rarely used to assist these gentlemen in getting back on track. But, Mark said, not to worry. These guys have ALL DAY to get back home. The joys of retirement. But Mark IS learning valuable life lessons from these guys who seem to be really enjoying the extra time they now have. And that's not the only valuable life lesson they are teaching Mark. When you are heading toward your senior years, you are approaching unchartered territory. It's a little like raising children - there is no book of directions. And as one elderly person told me - old age is not for wimps. So getting help from experienced elders who seem to be doing it right is always a good idea. And because I am a teacher at heart, I pass these pearls of wisdom on to you......

Rules of old age

1. Never stand when you can sit

2. Never sit when you can lie down

3. Never pass a bathroom without taking advantage of it

4. Be wary of farts

5. Never waste a hard-on, even if you are alone
What more can I say?